Bad day

It was a really bad day today. Had court with my ex and some how he got an attorney. Makes me feel like I'm screwed and could lose the girls. I have gone to legal aid but they wont go into court with me. Dan and I are going to go and talk to an attorney next week. I'm hoping he will work with us and let us make payments for his retainer fees. If not I will have to face his attorney myself. I was told today that I had to get tough and fight hard. I do know one thing I can bring up and its how he only wants his children when its convenient for him. I can prove this by bringing up his son that he had before I meet him. He had no contact with him until he was starts to have regular routes to Texas. There where no phone calls or letters before that. So, if I have to use his son in this I will. I know that is one thing that will get under his skin. I just have to hope and pray that I can get the help I need for this. I am so scared I'll lose the girls I dont know what to do with myself. I dont think he has thought about the contempt of court he has so I will being that up also and question how he can get an attorney but can't help pay for Harmonys braces or the girls schooling or the other things he has not done. Lets not forget that he went 10 months without paying child support. And yes I got his tax return but always have him telling me that the van would have been paid off if he got his return. I will also make sure the judge knows that I had to make a van payment or he was going to have the van repoed. I feel this is going to be a long hard fight and I just hope that what ever happens that what is best for the girls is put first. All I want is for the girls to be happy.

Most beautiful Lil girl

So its been a long few months. Things with Dan and me are great. The wedding a about 45 days away and I got all of the decorations done. It feels great to have them done, was gettin sick of green lol. On a sad note things with my ex got really bad. I had to get a protection order so he cannot have contact with me or the girls. We go to court tomorrow and I'm going to have to ask for a countenance so I and talk with an attorney. I meet with one on the 14th so i hope the judge will grant it and then just have the cases seen at the same time. It has been really hard to think about all that the girls have been through and not to blame myself for it. I know I have no control over what he does, but to have send the girls there knowing what he is doing has just killed me. I have a lot of information to give the judge as to why the girls will be better off with me. Dan is doing all he can to help but they will not let him talk in court just yet. It has been about 2 weeks since the girls saw their dad. Since then there has not been a melt down from Amber and they both seem so much happier. I was talking to Amber tonight and she started crying when she thought about having to see her dad again and what he will do to them for this. She is so scared that he will blame all of it on them and make them feel bad. We will just have to wait and see what happens.

On a good note I did get pics today of the baby I made the blessing gown for. She is very beautiful. I'm so happy the dress worked out for her. I didnt design the dress I just crocheted it. The designer did a wonderful just and made a beautiful dress.
Will I'm off to get ready for tomorrow wish me luck everyone.

Spring day on the Farm and ivy leaves

So here at Cross Orchard we had our first big event. It was Spring day on the Farm. I had the girls dressed up on dresses like they would if it was the 1800. They had fun with it and the goats and other baby animals were a big hit. We had about 500+ people come out. Dan was put in charge of planting the garden with some of the 4-H kids, he had fun. We did find out that we had more garden then plants so we are going to get some more. I got to learn how to spin my own yarn and the lady was so nice that she gave me a drop spindle she made. I could not thank her enough. I'm not really good at spinning but I'll get there.Over all it was a great day. As far as the crocheting, I'm still working on the ivy leaves. I think I have to make more then planed, so now I'm trying to make about 2000. I have about 150 done so I'm getting there. We did get a photographer for the wedding all set up. That was the one big ticket item that i was really worried about. But for what I have in the budget for pictures he is going to be with us all day and will even go to the saloon and take pics of me and the girls getting our hair done. I'm still planing everything own my own and am just taking it one day at a time. I make sure that I stay as organized as I can so I don't get over whelmed.  I am a bit worried about if I'll get all the decorating done before I have to leave to get our hair done. I'm thinking I'll have to get up at about 7 to get started. It will be a long but wonderful day. After I get the leaves done I have to work on the flowers. I have them all picked out so I don't have to spend time looking for patters I like, so that will be good. Will on off to make more leaves. Hugs everyone.

getting married!!!!

After being together for almost 3 years Dan and I have finally set a date. We are going to be getting married on September 16th, 2012. We are going to have a renaissance themed wedding. We are on a very tight budget so I'm doing all I can to keep the cost down. One thing I'm doing is make the decorations myself. To go with the theme I am working on making about 1000 ivy leaves to go on the pillars of the gazebo. I have about 30 done. I have a long way to go. On top of that I'm also writing the ceremony, making the invites, getting everything set up, and all om my own. I'm hoping I'm not getting over my head with this. On top of crocheting the ivy leaves I also have to find a way to make the flowers, and all of the other decorations needed for at the ceremony. Dan is doning what most guys do and just agreeing with everything and only talks up when he really things he needs to. I have set the budget for the wedding and am doing all I can to stay in the budget. I did get the photographer set, so that's one less thing I have to do. I'm going to be gettin the clothing ordered here in the next month. So I have knocked off a few things on my list. I'm doing all I can to keep my head above water with this as I have no help to get things done. Wish me luck and I'll keep everyone updated about how things are going. Now back to make more leaves.

Update

Hello everyone so here's the update. So if not everyone knows I lost my job at the group home :(. It's been really stressful on me as I feel I have let everyone down because at the same time I was not doin good in my old school. Things have been very stressful on me and like I always do I keep it all locked up. I have been spending most of my time lookin for another job and working on my crochet and helpin take care of the goats. We are up to 8 baby goats!!! The girls had a goat class over the weekend and we found out that even though we dont want to we have to have the girl's goats dehorned :(. We also found out that we had to get a scrapie tag from the people we got the goats from. It would have been nice to be told this by their club leader but she didn't tell us this. So for the past few days I have been tryin to find out how to get these tags. The people we got the goats from have not returned phone calls. Very stressful. So I do what I do best and I went to google. There I found a number to the person I needed to talk to about how to get tags for these goats. I told him that I was told the breeder was to tag them and he said no the buyer is, so now we have the tags coming in the mail. The goats get dehorned tomorrow. They are not gonna be happy goats, but it has to be done. We did get 3 female pygmy goats to go with the 3 males. we were only going to get 2 but there was one there that I just had to have. It's a little back goat with a white "v" on its head. I saw her and thought about my girls. Both of them were born with a "v" shaped birth make on their foreheads. So we went back and got her. So now we have a total of 9 goats, with 8 of them still on the bottle. Its not easy to feed that many alone. We are trying to wean one and he is not happy about that.
As for the job hunt. I have been puttin in apps and have not heard back until today. I got a call from the post office and have an interview on the 13th. So I hope I get it. Its only a part time job but that will work so that I can still go to school. I do start at my new school on Sunday. I hope this one is not just there to get money. But we will see.

I got a strange text from my mom that has me all worried. She asked if I was doin anything for the farm on Sunday and I siad no and why and all I got back was I'll call you tomorrow. GGrrrr now Ima be thinkin about it all night.
As far as my crocheting is goin, I'm working on a vest for my mom for mother's day. I started it Monday night and all I have left to do it the edging. I think I'll make some vests for the girls also. I almost have the mystery afghan done just have to piece it together, and then wait for next week to see what the border is.
So now I'm just tryin to take things one day at a time and hope that everything will get better. i was put on an anti-anxiety and depression meds. So we will see if they work. So that's all for tonight. I have not been sleepin very well so Ima go and try to sleep. Hugs everyone, Love Trina

Goats and kids and crochet oh my

Patches

So we got the new baby goats today. We didn't get the ones in the pics from my other post, but that's ok. They are so very cute and they are twins. One is smaller then the other. We have them in another box in the kitchen so that they can get used to people. Hestia, the bigger one, is having a hard time learning to take the bottle, but she well get it down soon. Aphrodite does good on the bottle and drinks it down pretty fast. Both have been knocking the boys around. It really funny to watch them. when we go out to feed them all its attack of the goats. You have to have about six hands to get them feed. Patches goes out there with us when we go to feed the goats. If I don't let him come he starts to pout. When feeding the new ones we have to hold them on our lap so the bigger ones don't push them off the bottle. Patches does not like this. He sits next to me and pouts till he can come into my lap. Its so cute and funny at the same time. I told Dan we are not gettin any more goats and that we are at our limit, but.........there was a little boy goat there that is just sooooo cute. He is all black except for a white "v" on his head. I feel in love with him because both of my girls were born with a "v" shaped birth mark on their forehead, so we may have to get one more. hehe. I'll have to get a pic done of the new girls here soon so everyone can see them.

Teddy bear blanket I also crocheted

Amber was home sick today. She has a bad cough and I took her to the doc and all we can to is wait it out. We left her at home while we went to get the goats, as she is 14, and I found out that I still can't trust her. I kinda left a trap for her to see if she can be trusted and she failed. What I did is open a back of Soft Batch cookies and she took almost haft of them in the hour we were gone. I so wanted to trust her but i guess I can't yet. :( I told her that she well be goin to school tomorrow and that she is not to call to come home. I look at it as if she ca neat about 10 cookies in a hour then she is well enough to go to school.

Tigger afghan I crocheted

Ok so I picked a school and I'll be goin to Colorado Technical University. Not sure why I didn't find this school a long time ago as I live in Colorado. But I have found it now and that's all that matters. I start on April 8th. What I like about this school is for every class you have the chance to have a live chat with you teacher and classmates. Also if I make it to graduation I can go to the campus in Colorado Springs and go through the ceremony. If I would have stayed at the other school I would just get my degree in the mail. I think this school will be a lot better and i just maybe able to get my degree.
Dan wanted me to tall everyone that he has been workin his butt off here. But I know that he is havin fun so he can't complain.

I had on of my dearest friends that I see as family tell me that I need to start sellin the things I crochet. I really don't think stuff I make is good enough to sell. Maybe some day years from now I may kinda think about the possibility of seeing if maybe I can sell something.

Wow what long days I have

So its been a long few days. I had a very big decision to make these last few days. I had to decide if I was going to finish my schooling or just drop out all together. Its been very hard for me to decide what I'm going to do. I have had so much going on lately that I was not doing good in school and have become even more depressed because of it. I know that if I stop now I'll never finish. So I decided I going to stay in school but I'm goin to change what school I'm going to. I'm still going to do online schooling but I'm going to one that is way more interactive that others I have seen. I hope I can do good and get to where I want to be. I have not done much crocheting these past few days. Been waiting to hear back from my mom about a vest that I want to make for her for Mothers Day. She did finally pick one now I just have to get started on it. I'm going to make her vest and then one for each of my girls. Its been nice being able to crochet and not have someone yelling at you about it or making fun of you. I well admit I was a bit worried about how Dan would feel about my crocheting. I didn't think he would not want me to do it. I was just scared because of how my ex treated it I was worried others would also. But Dan has been so great in supporting me and not make me feel like I'm wasting my time.
On another note we get to pick up the other goats tomorrow. We well also be gettin 3 pigs and a cow next week. Boy are we goin to be busy. But its gonna be fun. Now we can see just how much Dan and I can put on our plates lol. With him working and me goin to school, then we have the girls and me tryin to find another job, then we have takin care of all the animals we have. Animal count to date is 7 dogs and 6 goats. Then we have makin sure the farm looks good, that kinda falls on Dan and his job, and at some point we have to find time for us, and we do.I can say I know that I would be lost if not for all of the support I get from Dan. We may but heads at times but we work it out and move on together. We do still plan on gettin married this year, no I'm givin out the date yet. One thing we may want to start doin it maybe start to kinda talk about some sort of plans as all we have done is set the date.
So I know this post is kinda all over the place but I just felt like writin tonight and just whatever came to mind.